Rough is life

                                                                    

Hey loves!!!

Hope you loves have been doing well!!! Sooooo as for me I've been getting asked a lot about what I've been up to or what I've been doing lately? Well as y'all already know how crazy my life gets x that by 20 and then again by like 1000 and that's my stress level  as I type ha! Well to catch you lovely peeps on what's been goin on, I'll first start of with the good. I would like to introduce you all to what my mind has been completely zoned into lately and  might I add its the most cutest thing ever!!! Meet Pixie Rose!!! 

Seriously how could I not be on cloud 9 right now!! As you all know my baby boy passed away earlier this January and still my heart aches not having him around. I mean honestly I was not at all planning to get another doggy but she was a birthday gift and how could I pass up this cute lil cupcake!! I actually have seen her ever since she was first born and I got sooo attached when she always crawled towards me it was love at first ruff!!

She is such a handful, she's only 8 weeks but holy moly does she feel like a infant/toddler in their terrible 2's, always running around and getting into things. Always up at the wee hours of the morn tryin to wake me up and play, and between puppy doc appointments and her first set of shots boy oh boy has it been busy busy busy round here! But its all worth it, I don't know how I've been

living without her. She fits into my life so perfectly its like she's the missing puzzle piece to my 

puzzle!! I love my honey more than anything and I absolutely love being her Mommy!!!!!

So on that note I hope you all had a lovely Easter, I know we did!!! Now onto the more crazier part of my life right now. I'm pooped!! Yuuup you heared me im stressed out to the MAX and I've been sick this whoooole entire month!

So as I said before people seem to think that now that I'm cancer free that its all rainbows unicorns and raining daumn cupcakes well its not!! Faaaar from it!!!! I cant tell you how all the chemo/radiation and stem cell treatment has f'up my body!!To loosing my hair rotting finger nails and extreme stomach blow vomiting even after the treatments, that was only the beginning. Now it may be 9 months that I have been Cancer free now, but that doesn't mean that I still don't have side effects from it all. I'm still struggling with a lot for example on the physical end I've been sick all month with a cold. Now when a normal person gets sick its bad but they get over it me, well not only did I have the stuffed and runny nose, sore throat, migraines, stomachaches, body aches, but because I have such bad allergies now which is new to me by the way it caused me on top of all that to get a sinus infection along with red puffy itchy eyes and along with having gallstones apparently. Ooooh and along with another side effect that basically things I used to eat that I loved, now I hate, or my body rejects it. "NO" i'm not asking for sympathy or even feeling sorry for myself only trying to express how rough it really still is for me most of the time, you have ur good and bad days but lately its just been more bad than good. There's also been a lot of deaths in my family and that's just a whole other set of hurt extreme emotions that just piles up on top of everything else. I do still push myself to work on Chromatic L'Amour tho there's never not a day where i'm not working. But still theres just days where my body just gives out on me literally and even tho I know its bad I still continue to push my self. Which leads to the key point of what I've been up to lately.

I recently had a health scare!! As you can prob tell I over work myself, why? A because I love my job and B im still learning how to put my life back together and live again. Yes, im learning how to live, everything in my whole entire life has changed physically emotionally everything. Im not the same person I used to be since I got diagnosed at bearly turning 20, and honestly down to the way I think talk and to my likings has changed, its a weird but a refreshing way of me literally being born again. My whole body is re-learning how to sleep, walk, & eat which is a huuuge one. For example: Resturant + crab = Some weird girl throwing up in the bushes of their outside parking lot while walking back to her car.(ME)yeeeeeeaaaaah and that's with a lot of stuff to, if its not horrible enough not being able to control my body rejecting certain foods its got ppl lookin like eighther i be pregos or need to learn my drinking limit which is sad cause it has nothing to do with eighther of those things hahah!! & as far as the sleeping goes its like sleep does not do anything for me and if I could I cld prob run a couple of days without sleep which I have. Which sucks because im never able to get on track with my sleep. Then to top that off in raging fear the other day I thought I felt a lump in my breast!!!! I mean being guaranteed to over a 90% chance I will have breast cancer any day now with another secondary cancer How could I not be on the verge of tears!! But thank Gooood it was just normal breast tissue and im still in the clear for now, but being watched closey. All I can say is again my body is trying to tell me to slow the f'down and its a reminder to show me that  just go with the flow. . .  no matter how hard it will be for me to try to stay still ha!

I was told by all my docs and nurses that it would take up to 2 years before I would get back into a some what normal routine mode, and that it will take up to a year before I could start doing normal things again. And I was like well that's not gonna be me im gonna be fine thinking like im freggin wonder women buuuut its still 9 months later and im bearly starting to learn how to get a routine going, which is hard with my hectic schedule I bearly have time for my self between work and Pixie im a working Momma tryin to make the monies.

Its sometimes easy to get caught up with more bad things happening than good and I start to loose focus on whats most important. I mean i'm only human and I have days like where I feel like I just cant see the light of day. Especially lately with all kinds of things thats happening, its really hard to get out of a funk and I'll be honest its freggin hard to start a business in the middle of all kinds of

 tough times. I've been putting blood sweat and tears into my work and for it to have to be always put on hold it takes a toll on me and makes me depressed. Buuut if its one think I learned is that when one door closes another one opens. ITS TRUE!!!!! All I know is that i cant go wrong with God on my

 side there may be things that happen but I know it is ment for a reason!! & I say this loves because some of you I know tell me about some hard times in

your life, and know that it cant rain for ever, things have to be hard and rough in order to see the true meaning of beauty and good in  things. Easier said than done but trust me I know first hand.

And for all those who have been asking and are curious about Chromatic L'Amour and our launch, if you read the last couple of posts you know that we had to postpone our launch date, (for those posts you can find on the lower right hand side of this page or just scroll down to older post) which im so sorry the one thing I hate most of all is when someone tells me they are doing something and then they don't and change there word. Buuut as I said before I decided to change the date for so many reasons and one of them being that I want to make sure that you all get the best quality and service,you are in store for some awesome things coming up which I cant wait to announce later this week!! So just keep patient loves I soooo promise it'll be worth the wait!!

And not to all you my AWESOME SUPPORTERS cause you guys are awesome!!! But to those idiotic dumb people who I know  come on here or talk  behind my back and say "why don't you go get a real job" or "you don't look sick aren't you all better now" "you were never sick to begain with" or my personal fav that im lying that i have my own Clothing line. Hahaha your so dumb seriously! For the record just because I don't work in the mall or where ever the hell you work doesn't mean that I don't work or have a job. While your working and filing papers or what ever the heck you do your most likely  working for someone one else while im at home chillin  I'm the BOSS and owner of my own company  while im doing what I love ! Sooo who has a real job ooh im sorry who has a real AWESOME Job!!! Im a lover not  fighter but please if you hate me and what im doing so much don't follow me. BUT TO ALL MY Awesome SUPPORTERS YOU Rock & I  LOVE YOOOOOU GUUUUYS!!!!!! You guys are whats most important and I cant wait to respond back to some more of all your aweome msgs tonight!!