Cruisin with A Bruisin

 

Well just like they say "Cruisin for a Bruisin", well sort of cause in this case its more like "Cruisin with a Bruisin". It will be one week tomorrow since my surgery and I finally came out of my home cave to see daylight.

 One thing I learned about myself this week, was that again I really need to be patient and listen to my doctor's orders. I mean it's not like I don't listen because I do, I mean out of all people im usually the one to always keep updated with my health and appointments. Mostly every time I meet new docs or nurses they tend to tell me I know a lot for a patient ha! A.) I would say "TRUE" its due to my Medical CNA license or B.) I just say I've been around way to long in and out of the hospital. And to be quiet honest its actually really funny considering that back in the day when looking for a job in the med field straight out of med school that I was turned down on most jobs because they wanted more experience hahaha!! Oh well their LOSS Don't ya wish there was a gal like me to hire now! Any waaaaays back to the subjet, it's always the same thing I can't handle not pushing myself, I always have to do a little more and I've learned my lesson many times before of how it back fires sooooooo that's why I totally agree with the strategy "DO LESS BUT WITH MORE FOCUSE!!!!"

Still juggling a lot but managing, today was the first day out of the house for a doc appointment and did pretty good im proud to say. Still look like im in pain when I walk,(Which I happen to notice while walking by a car seeing my reflection) but heeey I mean at least im tryin! Plus they say a lot of walking is good so its a win/win. Although I cant help but get freaked out every time I see my stomach in the mirror eeeeeek! It's all purple and bruised but on the bright side im managing to start standing straight without it hurting as much!! Im mostly focusing on all the positives, just because its been hard lately I still have the worst cough in the world and still no one seems to know what's causing it, sooooooo need to see a specialist. I've been super bummed over it, only because its been over a year with the cough and its been hard to manage, I loose aloooot of sleep over it keeps me up all night no matter how much cough syrup or tea I drink. It could go away and then all of a sudden BAM! Out of no where it's like im choking on my own air. EMBARESSING totally when your at restaurant, library, store or above all Church. . . . . Seriously I sometimes don't know whether to cry or laugh at the fact that people keep staring thinking im dying of choking. Plus with the whole stomach surgery it hurts way more to cough and I tend to get nauseated from the pain which causes even more things im sure you wouldnt want to hear about so lets just say its been rough.

 

But then just when I think I can't take any more, there he is always there to wipe away my tears. He always reminds me that there is a reason for everything and that these bumps in the road these storms, he's never left me alone in fact he's my shelter from the storm always holding my hand through hard times. Every time I feel like im sinking he's there for me to hold on to and he brings me up to show me all the good things I was blinded from.

I recently received a Thank you letter from a Cancer Patient that had received a "Comfort Kit" from Chromatic L'Amour! I read it only to forget about all the pain and frustration I have been feeling lately and tears came to my eyes. Not sad but JOYFUL tears THANKFUL tears!! The letter said how appreciative they were to receive the "Comfort Kit" and how they felt that it was nice to know that they weren't going through their journey battling cancer alone. It was the best letter I have ever received and it has been such a blessing to know that what im doing means something! It always comes back to where I remember why I started and that everything I have been through even now makes it all worth it! To receive that letter thank you to the person that wrote it, due to privacy of the patient I will not say who but all I can say is thank you because in the end you lended up also making me feel like Im not alone and not going through tough times alone either. Thank you God for always showing me what matters and what is most important! Maybe its not so bad cruising with a bruising after all, knowing that exactly at the same time some where else there is something good happening.

Surgery Day

Hey Loves! So just a quick update on what has been going on round here, tah dah I just had surgery!

So in my last posts I talked about having like extreme stomach pain and most of the ER visits were due to my Gallbladder. Unfortunately due to all the chemo I've had it was no surprise this would happen, I was warned before about the side effects and what chemo can do but just didn't expect it this soon. Since treatments I've been having a lot of stomach problems and due to what my docs told me one of them was stones getting caught in my gallbladder, which led me to this surgery. Long story short the gallbladder is where it helps digest all the grease in foods and etc. but sometimes it wont work as well and forms stones, which they tend to sometimes get stuck and yea! Suuuper painful! Some people are lucky and can live with it, they usually just pass them but im not and of course just one of those random few who need to get mine removed haha! Buuuut I guess sooner rather than later is good, rather go through it now than later and plus hoping that all my stomach probs will finally start to calm down now due to removing my dang gallbladder. So keeping my fingers crossed!! But I will say Hoooooly moly I did not expect recovery to hurt sooo much! OWCH!!

Mmmmhhhhmmmm!! I always mean it you guys I love you! To all of you Loves who have been there to support me since day one when I still was sick with Hodgkins, I remember you. I also unfortunately remember all the people who didn't support me and always said rude things like I wasn't sick and I never had cancer. Or how my clothing line would never get any where.(I have a good Memory at least when it just comes to that ha!) To me through all that time to now I only focus on the positive people around me so to you loves thank you!!!! Things have been taking off slowly I will admit with huge bumps in the road with my health like this, but non the less they have taken off. I know what im doing makes a difference and the fact that I've been blessed with a second chance to do that with all the right doors open, that only proves to me that I need and will push harder and keep doing what im doing. And even though I may be cancer free, im still struggling to get my life back on track but like I said before, Ill never stop trying! So again thank you to all who continue to support me, it means the world to me! >

If its one thing I will do its damn for sure that I will Love harder than any pain I've ever felt!!!!

Another one Bites the Dust

Hey Loves! Hoping y'all are having a great day and that you had an awesome Easter! And just to let you know I was Really excited that the "Comfort Kits" made it just in time for Easter and where delivered to Patients This past week! Also just Incase you missed it or are curious what this last set of "Comfort Kits" looked like or had in them, feel free to scroll on down and check out the Latest "Comfort Kit" update I posted here on ze blog!

 

So As Of lately I've been trying to post more and be more involved with Chromatic and Its been going great if I do say so myself! Starting this upcoming May there will be all new sorts of fun new things I will be posting about which im suuuper stoked about!! I don't want to give away to much but I will say its a lot of new different segements!!! Staring with MUSIC!! (HINT).....(HINT) I just thought it be fun to switch things up not only just for the blog but for you loves!! Also in exciting Chromatic L'Amour news If all goes well like it has we will hopefully be apart of an event this upcoming June, so keep your fingers crossed and as soon as I have more news on that I will let you know!!!

 

Also I want to give a very Happy B-Day Shout out to this ooooooh sooooo FIIIIIIIIIne Pretteh Ladeh My very own older sister!!!! I hope you had a great Birthday, I love you to infinity and beyond!!! XOXOXOXO It's sort of extremely funny to think that at one time when we were younger that we didn't get along due to us being 8 years apart. But now it be literally the world turned upside down if we didn't talk to each other every day. There is literally not a day that goes by where we don't see or talk to each other, in fact its almost too scary to know how close we are together now hahaha!

 

Seriously I don't know what I do without my sisters!!!! I know a lot of people say that but I can honestly truthfully say that they are a HUGE reason why my heart is till beating this very second. The love I have for them is so strong there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them and I just thank god that he has blessed me with them to be my sisters to love and protect me. They are so much apart of me beyond just same blood there is no words to describe our bond! I love you guys!!!!!!! And for all you loves you have sibilings make sure to give em lots of love because today is National sibling day!!!!

In other news recently it hasn't been as much of a smooth ride for my health, which should come as no surprise to you loves, embarrassingly enough it seems like the never ending story these last couple of months posting about going in and out of the ER. I knew after my treatments that eventually all the chemo and radiation I've had would come back and bite me in the a@# but I will say I wasn't ready for it, especially not this soon. Usually when your Cancer free people seem to think that its over completely, which it may be for some and thank God for that!! Some people live the rest of their life without complications which is great!! But unfortunately there are all those who still continue to suffer even after treatment and I am one of them. And I say this not in bad way with anger but only with a little frustration, and to be honest I feel horrible and guilty for even feeling frustrated, because to be honest I'd rather have any other health problems;things that can eventually get better than to be back where I started with cancer. But then reality sinks in and I realize Hey! I have been through a lot and its ok to be a little frustrated! Trying to get back on my feet was hard enough, trying to train my body to learn how to eat properly again and sleep again. These are things that are not at all by any means easy and there are so many of us who have had to go through this. So when something else comes along while your trying to pick yourself back up again, I know now its ok to be a little frustrated especially when they say its due to possible exposure to chemo or treatments. I guess the best way to put it is, it's almost like a new chapter in my life. Before it was getting through battling fighting for my life, and now it's I got my life back but still trying to fight to keep it strong/healthy. It seems like I just cant get away from cancer, even though I kicked its ASS it still continues to haunt me by causing late side effects.

Buuuuuuuuuuuut as they say it could be worse and as I believe things happen for a reason. So with that being said pain stress and all Thank you GOD For being with me every step of the way and thank you for allowing things to turn up and now its time to have surgery!!!!! Its time to remove this dang gallbladder and to also find out why I have a chronic cough!!!!! Soooo Another adventure begains and here are some pics from a pamphlet that I received which are A.) Funny as heck because you could tell they are like from the 80's and B.) I don't know if its just me but they are totally creepy and grows I totally had to post so I wasn't the only one who had to look at them!!! hahaha!!

 

 

 

 

 

So to conclude todays post/night I will now go off and have a Netflix marathon of  "Ghost Whisper" which I've been totally addicted to lately and also to end things off with my fav part of this week! No matter how stressful my day gets with all these doc appointments and stuff every time I get into the car randomly my car radio will start playing Queen's "Another One Bites The Dust" song and I cant help but smile laugh and jam to it ha! Love it! Till next time loves have a lovely night!!