Surgery Day

Hey Loves! So just a quick update on what has been going on round here, tah dah I just had surgery!

So in my last posts I talked about having like extreme stomach pain and most of the ER visits were due to my Gallbladder. Unfortunately due to all the chemo I've had it was no surprise this would happen, I was warned before about the side effects and what chemo can do but just didn't expect it this soon. Since treatments I've been having a lot of stomach problems and due to what my docs told me one of them was stones getting caught in my gallbladder, which led me to this surgery. Long story short the gallbladder is where it helps digest all the grease in foods and etc. but sometimes it wont work as well and forms stones, which they tend to sometimes get stuck and yea! Suuuper painful! Some people are lucky and can live with it, they usually just pass them but im not and of course just one of those random few who need to get mine removed haha! Buuuut I guess sooner rather than later is good, rather go through it now than later and plus hoping that all my stomach probs will finally start to calm down now due to removing my dang gallbladder. So keeping my fingers crossed!! But I will say Hoooooly moly I did not expect recovery to hurt sooo much! OWCH!!

Mmmmhhhhmmmm!! I always mean it you guys I love you! To all of you Loves who have been there to support me since day one when I still was sick with Hodgkins, I remember you. I also unfortunately remember all the people who didn't support me and always said rude things like I wasn't sick and I never had cancer. Or how my clothing line would never get any where.(I have a good Memory at least when it just comes to that ha!) To me through all that time to now I only focus on the positive people around me so to you loves thank you!!!! Things have been taking off slowly I will admit with huge bumps in the road with my health like this, but non the less they have taken off. I know what im doing makes a difference and the fact that I've been blessed with a second chance to do that with all the right doors open, that only proves to me that I need and will push harder and keep doing what im doing. And even though I may be cancer free, im still struggling to get my life back on track but like I said before, Ill never stop trying! So again thank you to all who continue to support me, it means the world to me! >

If its one thing I will do its damn for sure that I will Love harder than any pain I've ever felt!!!!

Another one Bites the Dust

Hey Loves! Hoping y'all are having a great day and that you had an awesome Easter! And just to let you know I was Really excited that the "Comfort Kits" made it just in time for Easter and where delivered to Patients This past week! Also just Incase you missed it or are curious what this last set of "Comfort Kits" looked like or had in them, feel free to scroll on down and check out the Latest "Comfort Kit" update I posted here on ze blog!

 

So As Of lately I've been trying to post more and be more involved with Chromatic and Its been going great if I do say so myself! Starting this upcoming May there will be all new sorts of fun new things I will be posting about which im suuuper stoked about!! I don't want to give away to much but I will say its a lot of new different segements!!! Staring with MUSIC!! (HINT).....(HINT) I just thought it be fun to switch things up not only just for the blog but for you loves!! Also in exciting Chromatic L'Amour news If all goes well like it has we will hopefully be apart of an event this upcoming June, so keep your fingers crossed and as soon as I have more news on that I will let you know!!!

 

Also I want to give a very Happy B-Day Shout out to this ooooooh sooooo FIIIIIIIIIne Pretteh Ladeh My very own older sister!!!! I hope you had a great Birthday, I love you to infinity and beyond!!! XOXOXOXO It's sort of extremely funny to think that at one time when we were younger that we didn't get along due to us being 8 years apart. But now it be literally the world turned upside down if we didn't talk to each other every day. There is literally not a day that goes by where we don't see or talk to each other, in fact its almost too scary to know how close we are together now hahaha!

 

Seriously I don't know what I do without my sisters!!!! I know a lot of people say that but I can honestly truthfully say that they are a HUGE reason why my heart is till beating this very second. The love I have for them is so strong there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them and I just thank god that he has blessed me with them to be my sisters to love and protect me. They are so much apart of me beyond just same blood there is no words to describe our bond! I love you guys!!!!!!! And for all you loves you have sibilings make sure to give em lots of love because today is National sibling day!!!!

In other news recently it hasn't been as much of a smooth ride for my health, which should come as no surprise to you loves, embarrassingly enough it seems like the never ending story these last couple of months posting about going in and out of the ER. I knew after my treatments that eventually all the chemo and radiation I've had would come back and bite me in the a@# but I will say I wasn't ready for it, especially not this soon. Usually when your Cancer free people seem to think that its over completely, which it may be for some and thank God for that!! Some people live the rest of their life without complications which is great!! But unfortunately there are all those who still continue to suffer even after treatment and I am one of them. And I say this not in bad way with anger but only with a little frustration, and to be honest I feel horrible and guilty for even feeling frustrated, because to be honest I'd rather have any other health problems;things that can eventually get better than to be back where I started with cancer. But then reality sinks in and I realize Hey! I have been through a lot and its ok to be a little frustrated! Trying to get back on my feet was hard enough, trying to train my body to learn how to eat properly again and sleep again. These are things that are not at all by any means easy and there are so many of us who have had to go through this. So when something else comes along while your trying to pick yourself back up again, I know now its ok to be a little frustrated especially when they say its due to possible exposure to chemo or treatments. I guess the best way to put it is, it's almost like a new chapter in my life. Before it was getting through battling fighting for my life, and now it's I got my life back but still trying to fight to keep it strong/healthy. It seems like I just cant get away from cancer, even though I kicked its ASS it still continues to haunt me by causing late side effects.

Buuuuuuuuuuuut as they say it could be worse and as I believe things happen for a reason. So with that being said pain stress and all Thank you GOD For being with me every step of the way and thank you for allowing things to turn up and now its time to have surgery!!!!! Its time to remove this dang gallbladder and to also find out why I have a chronic cough!!!!! Soooo Another adventure begains and here are some pics from a pamphlet that I received which are A.) Funny as heck because you could tell they are like from the 80's and B.) I don't know if its just me but they are totally creepy and grows I totally had to post so I wasn't the only one who had to look at them!!! hahaha!!

 

 

 

 

 

So to conclude todays post/night I will now go off and have a Netflix marathon of  "Ghost Whisper" which I've been totally addicted to lately and also to end things off with my fav part of this week! No matter how stressful my day gets with all these doc appointments and stuff every time I get into the car randomly my car radio will start playing Queen's "Another One Bites The Dust" song and I cant help but smile laugh and jam to it ha! Love it! Till next time loves have a lovely night!!

 

 

"COMFORT KIT" UPDATE

FINALLY!!! It's here "COMFORT KIT" UPDATE!!!!

 

Hey Loves! Hope y'all had an amazing day! SUPER stoked that I finally finished this batch of new comfort kits! It was a bit hard cause I had originally wanted to post earlier but had to take breaks in between due to the pain from my dang gallbladder! But finally after forever and a day I am now here and excited to share with ya all the details!

 First off, I can not even began to describe how amazingly beautiful these beanies are and how they came out!! Im so beyond blessed and thankful that they were hand made and customized just for our special fighters and I can not wait for the patients to receive them!!!!! (Here are just a few up above) A huge shout out goes to Mrs.M.Gonzales!!!! She took the time out to make these beauty's and donate them and I just can not thank you enough!!! I know for a fact that the patients will love them and again I am beyond so blessed and so grateful for you to have gone out of you way to do this for us!!

I also want to take the time to give a shout out To all that have donated by either purchasing our clothing which helped us take a portion to make these kits and to those who have just generously gave us a donation out the kindness of their hearts for us to do this! Without you none of this would be happening, you are helping us make a difference here at Chromatic L'Amour and for that I can not thank you enough!!! Thank you Thank you for helping me live out my dreams and helping me make a difference! Also a huge shout out to Mrs.G.Valdez for a very generous offer that all went to the Kits and again Mrs.M.Gonzales for making an donating the beanies!!!!! Thank you sooooooooo much I love you!!!! You guys Rock!!!

And here they are! Some pics of the comfort kits!!! Im sorry I know they aren't the best quality pics but I don't have a really fancy smancy camera to take cool photos unfortunately haha! Buuut I do have an really cool iPhone that gets the job done so thank you iPhone you did well!!!

This time the comfort kits included on the go Water bottle containers, tissues, hand sanitizers, the beanies and more! Most of the time A lot of people who aren't familiar with what we do are confused sometimes with what we put in the kits. Tissues hand sanitizers? All the items that are in the kits are something that the patients can use during treatment or even at home! I remember when I was in the hospital or at my treatments these where things I needed on daily basis even on the go or during appointments. Its just a little something to show we care and something to hopefully comfort and bring a smile to their faces! And not to mention I thought since its so close to Easter to make cute baskets to put every thing in, cool right! >

I hope I will be able to deliver these sometime this week! Im aiming and hoping for tomorrow but it depends on when the Oncology center can allow me to and then they are off and into the hands of the patients! And as for a quick Chromatic L'Amour update I know a lot of you are asking if we have an online website and sadly no not yet but one day! As for now we are promoting here and there at random trying to spread the word, and are hoping to do more events so that you can purchase some Chromatic gear! Until then I will for sure let you know when we do our next event!

And if you want to see Special stories on other comfort kits we have done prior to these feel free to check them out! Just scroll your self on over to the right hand side of this page under blog archive to find a specific post, or just feel free to scroll down to the end of this page and click on older post! Till next time loves im callin it a night!! Muuuuah!! XOXOXO

Busy Bee

Hey Loves! Hoping you all had a great day and a perfect night! Sooooo you know when your day is soooo crazy and ur running around all day trying to get everything done, and no matter how early you wake your self up its like still not enough time to get everything complete on your todo list. HELLO that's me with Mah hand up in the air cause that's my true story today. Its like one of those days as soon as you get home your like I need a drink! Yeuup! That was me today, well minus the drink unfortunately. (WAAAAAAAAAH!) I know I could use a nice glass of wine right about now but since im on meds Im left to roam the day with just my Vitamin water. SAD FACE

 So on to todays journey, I woke up extremely early got my self ready was about to walk out the door and then that's when all things became crazy, apparently I have no primary physician any more because my old one left the office (which im totally sad over because she was so cool) so they gave me a new one which is great right, except the fact I need my gallbladder removed ASAP and the only thing left standing in my way is to get refered to a surgeon by my regular physician. Why its that way idk but its kinda hard since I had to call and set up everything with all kinds of paper work on my own, sooooo the surgery is on hold for now until I can be seen. Buuuuuuut they said I cant be seen till the ending of next month HA! So with that being said there was many phone calls and confusion and I was left doctor-less for about an hour and thank the LORD!!! I got me a new doc and will be seen next week!! AMEN!! cause I don't know how much longer I can last with this horrid stomach pain, the meds seem to work for a lil but ware off fast and believe me when I say every six hours is like litteraly a pain to wait for the next dose. And of course my mornig got pushed back and then I was off to get a couple last minute things fooooor "COMFORT KITS!!!"

Heres a Sneaky peeky! Just a few lil things I got today, More pics will be up tomorrow!! I originally had planned to get everything done today buuut due to my whole run around with the doc thang I will have to finish up tomorrow but not to worry just come on by tomorrow and I will have more updates for ya loves!!!

 

In the mean time ima go eat because im starving and I will back tomorrow!! I had to post a pic of this beauty because look at it mmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!  Alriiighty thaaaan Have your selfs a great night loves see ya in the morning!!!

Alive And Loving All

Hey you beautiful Loves! Hope all y'all had a fab day and are having a great night! It tis late but I just couldn't help mah self I had to blog to feel ya in on whats been goin on round huur. ok! So first things first. . . . . . . Yuuuuuuuuuuuuup it aint no surprise, I bet you prob already guessed DRUUUUUM ROOOOOOOOOOOLL! YES its true I was in the ER again. I promise to make this story short and hopefully entertaining with my experience for your reading pleasure of course, but Sometimes I feel like I should just change this to a " How many times have I been to the Er" blog! Buuuuuuuut I wont I will just stick to my very own horrific grammar random moments blog for now, but its an idea for another blog that's for sure ha!

 

Ok sooo back on the subject it was on Friday night I started to feel the worst pain ever in my upper stomach/ribcage, It was so bad it shot all the way back to my back! It started off as heartburn and what felt like acid reflex which is something unfortunately after treatments I noticed my stomach started to become familiar with, so it wasn't like a big shock. But eventually it was so bad I was vomiting from the pain and could barely walk. I was in the waiting room for 6 hours before getting in a room and to make things worse lets just say thank GOD!! Thank you!!! For my amazing Mom for driving me and helping me get out of the car since apparently no one at the front office of the ER could help on account of being to busy.(Apparently I guess working in the ER office has changed and being busy meant standing around doing absolutely nothing while talking/laughing) any way After a total of what was 12 hours x-rays and other tests, it was mah dang gallbladder! I finally will be in the process of finally removing it due to gallstones being stuck.

 

At times I have people tell me I have been through so much and that it seems like I cant catch a break. And although sometimes I want to agree something holds me back and I cant help but say things happen for a reason. Some agree and others don't but to me I truly believe that no matter what comes our way we are put through things to learn and become wiser and stronger from it. God has truly been with me every step of the way every day good or bad and its not that he allows bad things to happen, but more of the scence that this is the path I must walk to get where I need to be. Along the way there may be hard times but I will pull through with his love and grace and make the best of it. Why?! Because I remember that im not living for me. We are here on this earth for one purpose, and if Loving,trying to help, and care for other people means going through tough times to help others than why not. Hard times wont last forever and are simply just another bump in the road.

(Make sure to Follow me on Instagram if you haven't already)

 

I lay awake in bed every night and every moment reflecting on my life and to be honest I didn't start living until the day I realized what truly really mattered. Im blessed to have a 2nd chance at livig and every moment that I get will not be wasted. Its very easy to get distracted I will admit, theres times I get very dpressed over some things but I come back to the realization of why I started and why Im here still. There's many things in life I need to do and lately no matter how hard life gets or what pain I feel in things I choose to make something good come out of it!!!

Which brings me to hopefully tomorrows "NEW" post : of Chromatic L'Amour's new set Of "Comfort Kits" progress! Pain and all y'all im still workin on  maken a difference!! And to me that's whats most important and what I live for!

 

And of course ya know I had to post a pic of this lil Darlin! Im not sure if it was or not but to me every day is National Puppy Day!!!! Isnt she the cutest! Although she is the hardest kid to take a pic of! Its blurry but its the best I could do with her today haha!! She was so excited to be playin in her Nana's and Gran Pops backyard!

Well apparently Its already tomorrow now so im off to shoot out the lights! Gotta big bright and early day tomorrow, Night Loves!

 

 

It was 3:49 AM when I last glanced at the clock. I was screaming so loud at the top of my lungs not only do I think the heavens could hear my awful horrid scream, but everyone in the neighborhood. I can still feel the tears running down my face as I lay paralyzed chocking on my sobs. My throat is really soar and a whole hour has already passed since my nightmare, if you can even call it that. Waking up to what I can remember a shadow figure choking me is not so much my favorite wake up call.02/03/2015

So how was that for a change, sort of a creepy way to start off this blog post but of course leave it to me to post something like that! The even creepier part is its a true story, maybe it was all the stress at that time but apparently February was the month for the most horrific back to back nightmares for me. In most of my latest posts these last couple of months I've talked about not feeling very well and not knowing why, it seemed like pretty much all the time I was sick with random things. Unfortunately with that it came along with a whooole lot of trips to the ER including bringing me to my most recent trip to the ER which happened to land on an unexpected day. Ooooh Valentines day ya sure gave me a thrill this year that's for sure!

Thank God after loads of extremely horrible head pain and bloody noses and what felt like millions of test scans/Spinal Tap mini procedure, it was all worth it to find out that I did not have an Aneurism. Although I was bursting with joy to get the news that thank God it wasn't an Aneurism it struck up some fear and A red flag not just to me but to my doctors. Sooooooo they issued a PET SCAN.

Pet scans are always really nerve wrecking because they show if your system is clear or if there is detected cancer in the body. Every so often I get a pet scan because Im still not out of the woods yet, it has been a while I've been clear but because my of my case of Hodgkin's it was very different than most so I have a different recovery process. So when my numbers go up because of me being sick with all kinds of random stuff its scary because I have to go through the whole process again and have to do all kinds of tests. To make sure its not the hodgkins and the easiest way is the pet scan sooooooo with that being said im very happy to say that it came back clear!!!! I have learned I need my gallbladder taken out and still am not sure why I have a chronic cough but Im not complaing as long as im clear of cancer! And it came just in time for a somewhat new fresh start for my 23rd Birthday!!!

Words cant describe how truly blessed I feel to be another year wiser. The best gift of all is being able to wake up and being able to be with the ones I love the most! For me I feel Birthdays are my new fresh start of the year feeling, because I always feel so much more I guess older haha. I can see myself becoming more of a women each year and this year im very happy to be where I'am.

Plus I be lying if I wasn't excited about my birthday dinner mah Momma makes every year for me!!!! I mean how good does this look!!! Yuuuuuum!!

This year I chose sea food and it was amaaaaaaayzing!!!!! Thank you Mommy!!!

And as my favorite Disney song says, "When you wish upon a shooting star Makes no difference who you are anything your heart desires It will come to you If your heart is in your dream No request is to extreme" so on that note here is quick update on Chromatic L'Amour for you loves!!! I know its been a while since I've talked about Chromatic and posted on instagram but I've been taking more time to focuse on the "Comfort Kits!" And im very excited to announce we are getting ready to deliver a whole new set to patients!! One day I hope to open up the online store as for now im working on more of the behind the scenes Talking and reaching out to patients as well as designing new things and projects also looking into doing an event so that you loves will be able to get your self some Chromatic gear! but as for now Im just very blessed and honored that we have received donations for the kits and that we are working on making the comfort kits complete, so I will definitely be you keeping updated on that! So to all that have been waiting so patiently and supporting us thank you!! Its really important to me to try and stay healthy while working on Chromatic so in time I cant wait to se what 23 has in store for me!!!

National Cancer Awareness Day!!!

 

 Today is National Cancer Awareness Day!!  If it's one of the many things not just I but many other people in the world want, it is for Cancer to be wiped away from the earth FOREVER!!!! It has effected soooo many people over hundreds of years as far as we know and unfortunately for those back in the past there was not a whole lot of knowledge about Cancer, in fact they didn't even know what it was. Luckily today there is knowledge of what Cancer is and there is treatments, however this deadly ugly disease has hurt and taken so many even with treatments available.

I thank God for giving me another chance at life, and I take not only today to step back and count my blessings but every day!! At one time I was told I only had 6 months to live, with no hair, rotting finger nails, yellow pale skin, vomiting what seemed like every second of the day. I mean the list could go on but the point is to put it bluntly Cancer is hell. There are so many types of cancer in this world that not only effects Adults but Children, it doesn't care how tall or what race you are. Or as a matter of fact if your human or not it is also known to effect animals. Cancer not only effects the patients but their families as well. To see your love one suffer is beyond unbearable. To have to watch you Mother, Father, Daughter, Son, Husband, Cousin, Grandparent, Friend, or even pet be in pain; it only brings you pain. Cancer is one of many diseases that this world has and it is one we all wish would just go away. But until there is a cure we need to come together and unite because we CAN make a difference!!!

Please I ask that not just today but any day, please take the time to post something about Cancer Awareness, so that someone some where will see and take the opportunity to go to the doctor and will help increase the chances of catching it in time!! There are so many warriors out there battling cancer, whether it is a msg or comment of encouraging words REACH OUT please so do it!! Please let them know that there is nothing but love and support for them!!! To all the cancer patients I've had the honor of knowing and have met over my experience you are by far the most inspirational people I know!! You are and will always be my INSPIRATION!!!! Never stop FIGHTING KEEP STRONG!!!!!!!! There is always nothing but LOVE AND HOPE!!!!!!