Good morning Loves! Or should I say good afternoon! Well guess what?! We are so close to finishing the beginning of my journey and finally almost on to present day!!! Yaaay! Now I know I've been posting some really long posts lately, its been so hard trying to fit the first 6 months into a couple of posts. I've had to cut out alot but I hope you kind of get the gist of what I went through in that short amount of time, well maybe not short it felt like for ever haha! But you get what I mean! Don't worry though I didn't cut out any important stuff, just some lil things like how I went to the ER due to feeling sick after chemo (I was fine just the after effects) and a nurse stole my phone right in front of me and got away with it Grrrrr!! Stuff like that which you really don't need to hear me rant on about how mad I was.
Any ways moving on, I soon started going for my treatments regularly every beginning of the month and every ending of the month. So two every month for 3 months. Now I've had alot of people ask me what It felt like or what the side affects there are but everyone is different. I know with my experience the first chemo treatment I had I didn't get sick while I was receiving the medication, it wasnt till the next morning I got really sick. The only way I could describe it best is picture you having the flu really bad, then add feeling car sick, then try throwing in the worst hangover ever in your life! Don't even get me started on the sensitivity of smell bleeeh! I'll talk more about that later. Now like I said its different for everyone. Not everyone gets sick or even loses there hair. It took 4 whole months for my hair to fall out and make a difference to wear I had to start wearing a wig, and even then and now I still didn't lose all my hair.
I soon started to get used to the treatment sessions, I go in for a couple of hours come home eat somthing and then within a couple of hours the neausea started. They gave me medication to calm the nausea and it helped a bit but unfortunately because chemo is basically toxic to the body, its a natural reflex for the body to try and get rid of those toxins hence the nausea and vomiting. The vomiting was tough, but it only lasted for a couple of days then I was back to being able to eat!
The first handful of treatments where hard but nothing compared to the laset session of treatments. THE SMELL!!!! Oh my gosh! I felt like a hound dog I could smell everything from like miles away. I got soooo sick off of the smell at my treatment ceneter I had to wear a mask with sprayed fregrance just to take a little pinch of of the smell away. Till this day I HATE the smell of lysol and laytex gloves! And theres certain smells I just cant be around.
It soon came time for a PET scan and was time to see if the chemo was working. It was a couple days before christmas when I got the greatest news!! The chemo was working and the tumor was 50% gone! My family and I where thrilled and thankful that after all our worries our prayers were answered. Even though it was good news, I don't know why I still had a gut feeling something wasn't right. A week or two before I got the good news, I had gone to a radiation docter for a consultation just incase I would need radiation, but it turned out that after talking it over with my main docter they decided that it was to risky for me to do because I was so young. That even if I did need it for some reason in the future they still wouldn't consider it due to all the side effects it would cause later on down the line. I would be most likely to get breast cancer in the next 7 years along with an other type to cancer in 10 years. So you can only imagine how thankful I was when they said I wasnt going to need it!
Well the day after we found out the news, I got one of the worst calls of my life and it soon became one of the worst days of my life. Earlier that day I was bummed out that my grandmother wasn't and still is not doing well at all. To see her suffering everyday is such a hard thing to watch and go through. Its something my family and I have a really hard time dealing and struggling with each and every day. Also that same day I was on the computer when I found out some horrible news about someone I knew and I was devastated! As I tell my self "Could today be any worse?!" the phone rings, it was my docter. My dad answered and my heart sank, I knew what it was and why I had that gut feeling. She explained that after a group meeting with other doctors, they dicussed my case and was decided that the chemo wasnt working as fast or as much as it needed to and they needed to switch treatment plans. I was to start radiation asap.
Well Loves, as you could imagine this was not at all what I wanted to hear. I broke down and was in complete shock. This caught me so off gaurd and with all the bad news of that day it was just to much for me to handel. I know they say God or life doesn't give more than what you can handle but when is enough! It was bad news after bad news. I was told it was worser than what they thought. Then once again I was told AGAIN for a second time, it was once again even more worse than what they thought before. This made me so angry and upset that I became so bitter I just wanted damn answers! I wanted to know exactly how bad I was and should I worry that I may not have any more options.I went through hell and back with emotions. It was soon a bitter but sweet christmas to be with my loved ones, and it was soon time again to meet with the raidiation docters to discuss further treatment.
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