A New Start to the Never Ending Story

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As much as we wish somethings were true,

Its not enough to make them an reality.

The cancer is back and more worse than before.

There are more tumors that have formed and the pain is only increasing.

To hear this news was one of the worst things I could ever possibly hear.

If treatment is not done within the next 6 months I will be taken down by this damn sickness fom hell.

Due to being refused for almost a year now by main insurance providers has made this news even worse! Its all back to the start and hoping and praying that they fianlly get the freggin hint and help me get the coverage I need to get the help I need.

Although this wasnt the best of news I still need to keep focused and centered and know things could always be worse. At least I still have a chance thats all that matters, the plan is going to be yet again one of the hardest things I will mentically and physically ever havet togo through but if its a chance that can save my life theres not even a question or a doubt not to go through with this.

Heres the Plan :

* Biopsy On tuesday not really sure how this gonna happen

due to me zoning out when they where telling me I needed a big biopsy surgery  I kinda freaked and  I got flashbacks of the last biopsy. . . it huuurt..

But what I did get was Em I a bleeder and theres a huge needle and anxiety meds they can give. Ill worry on Monday when I find out more but till then not gonna think bout it.

* 2 Rounds of intensive Chemotherapy

I was told this chemo is extremely way worse than the one before, exteme Nausea, Hair loss (AGAIN CRAAAAAAAP) and once again many extreme side affects.

Ooook so I know I havet to prep for this, and I know I shouldnt complain.

But just for one second! Craaaaap! I just started to grow my hair back! I was so exsited I was lucky to have not lost all of it but this time I know I will!! I know they say you need certain types of brain tests which is scarey knowing the chemo is so strong that you start to act different I dont want to loose myself in this!! I cant even talk about the thought of being away from my family especially my baby niece and nephew they are my WORLD!! Oh and even tho its ol news and I shld know better there goes any of my secret hope I still had to maybe have a baby  -___-

*Then depending on the after effects of Chemo Round 2

Then Comes the Stem Cell Treatment.

As much as I wanna scream at the top Of my lungs alot of things that arent very nice words I havet to keep it together.

Although my plans of celebrating were put on hold, at least one thing interesting has came out of this ugly big mess. After weeks of debating after yesterdays news I decided to make a youtube account and make mini videos of whats been goin on round here and my whole expierence that is coming.

I hope you all will follow me along as once again I will battle and take head on this demon called Cancer!