The Great Escape and the Misery that Always Follows

Hey Loves!

Hope you all Have been having a good weekend!!

Im sorry I've been cutting back on posting, its been getting harder to do anything as of lately without hurting or being extremly tired.

But even so that wont stop me from getting my self all up on here and letting you loves know whats been going on round here.

As you know I just got approved for Med-ical and Im so happy that after a year of being denied that I finally got accepted!

Knowing that I'll be able to get the stem cell treatment gives me hope. Its scarey knowing all thats coming with these next 2 rounds of intense chemo but what can you do when its the one thing that may save your life.

Theres been more bad news about a family member passing and more bad news and setbacks that will once again hold me back from getting the clothing line started.

I cant help but get really bummed out over this.

Yesterday we lost a special person in our family and my prayers go out to her family especially her mom who I hate seeing so hurt in this tough time.

Also all the set backs that keep poping up that keeps me from getting the clothing line started is really taking its toll on me.

As I've said before getting this clothing line started means everything to me. My hope and dream is to not only sell my cloths but more IMPORTANT for every purchase that is made there will be a donation going to St.Jude Hospitol

This dream I have has been waiting to come true for far to long now, and the determination is more than ever now burning and running through my body and I wont let this dream go!

My family Is one of the main things I fight for every day but the idea of being able to help with St.Jude is another. Its what helps keep me going when I think I cant go any more.

The thought of a baby or someone younger going through what I do or worse is the hardest thing to even imagine about. If they can do it there is no reason why I cant.

They to me are Heros and some now Angels.

All cancer patients or anyone suffering from a illness fighting for their life or their health is my Hero. 

The countdown for Tuesday's biopsy is a day away now and its time to try and keep focused. Its been hard trying to do so when these last couple of days it seems that more and more fears are just starting to rise and starting to try and drown me.

Whether its a fear of this biopsy not working and having to go through with the a major surgery. Or the thought of them missing and piercing my lung while being awake through everything.

I think the the hardest thing about this is knowing theres no turning back or getting out of this. That once this coming tuesday starts theres nothing but on and on procedures and treatment. I may have been able to just brush off the fears or entertain the idea that I could run away from all this for a while now because it wasnt time or here yet. But its here and its in me any where I go. It follows me and grows in me, theres no where to escape or go but into these treatments they are the only thing that could take this horrible misery that follows me away.

So attempts to try and keep focused it was important to me and my family to make a trip to Westlake and visit the St. Jude church and shrine.

Oh my gosh you guys it was sooo pretty!!!

These pics dont do it justice.

It was there I was given a blessing scarament of the sick and was anointed with oil for the sickness.

 I feel that my trip there was really special and I hope to visit again when Im better!

I feel it was somewhere I needed to go to before these next big treatments and given the blessing I feel ready to go on my next journey now.

Have a good Sunday Loves and enjoy the rest of your weekend!!!